LOST WORLDS: A Script for Really Big Bugs

This script is also for human eyes, not just big bugs...

Sep 19, 2025

∙ Paid

Long Ago…There was REALLY BIG BUGS

Eric Elfman and I had written a lot of scripts in the early 2000s. We pitched all kinds of stories from all manner of origins—stuff that we were hired for and some spec things—that is, stuff we wrote on our own, hoping someone would buy it. The following script was one of those spec projects. Disclaimer: This is one of the goofiest projects we ever did, and I mean that in the most endearing, fun way.

A mutual friend of ours, Eric Brevig, who is a legendary special effects guru and won the Oscar for Pearl Harbor, wanted to make the leap from special effects to directing. But first, he needed a script. His request: something he could confidently nail the special effects of—and cheaply.

So he came to Eric and me with this idea…

Giant bugs.

Eric and I were sold. The question was, just how goofy could we make it? We knew it would be easy to lean into the horror aspect, but we wanted to see what we could capture with a comedy.

And so—we brainstormed, and kind of in the vein of Snakes on a Plane (before Snakes on a Plane), we decided we would just call it Really Big Bugs. We pictured Will Ferrell as the star, as this scientist who is working in genetic engineering on plants. But then, of course, insects eat the plants, and they start to grow enormous. We really envisioned it as a parody of that genre of movie, just an absolute, absurdist comedy—the kind of story that laughs at itself

And so… we wrote this script that you’re about to read.

Disclaimer

When you read, imagine a comic actor playing the lead. And keep an eye out—some of my favorite moments are things that people will recognize as homages to other films that were relevant at the time.

For those of you who are just getting a smaller piece of the script, I’ll go over some highlights (which you can unlock by subscribing) below. Beware, spoilers!

Big Bug Highlight Reel

One of my favorite moments in the story is how it starts: these middle-aged guys are playing paintball, and something attacks them. We don’t see what attacks them, but one of them is left catatonic in the hospital. The police try to interview him, but he can’t speak, and then he says one phrase: “Rosebud. Nasty ass.” So his last words are kind of hearkening back to Citizen Kane, but twisted into “Rosebud, nasty ass”—what does that mean?

Ultimately, they discover there’s this old monastery with a sign that says: “Melrose Buddhist Monastery, classes nightly.” But everything is overgrown, so all that can be seen of that phrase on the sign is ““rose Bud nast y ass” It’s silly, it’s goofy, but we had so much fun—and of course, that’s where the bugs are breeding.

In the next scene, our hapless heroes find a grove of giant corn and realize they must burn it down. What they don’t realize until it’s too late is that all that corn is going to pop, and so they’re buried in giant popcorn.

The big climax is a giant snail—a giant snail that takes forever to get to the city. A surprise character comes in as the hero to save the day, sort of a third-act cameo, but I won’t say who! You’ll have to read.

The Legacy of REALLY BIG BUGS

We finished the script in 2005, but, shortly after, Eric Brevig went on to direct Journey to the Center of the Earth and Yogi Bear and has been working continually in special effects doing amazing work. He did the effects for The Maze Runner and countless other movies.

We had really big hopes for Really Big Bugs, but we never were able to get it off the ground.

It remains a bright and joyful project between myself and both of my friends named Eric. All of us are still close. I’m still writing books with Eric Elfman—Our last book in the N.O.A.H Files, The Dog Days Are Over, will come out next year. As for Eric Brevig: he and I are still good friends too. He and his wife even come on vacation down to Mexico with me about once a year. So, despite its absurdity, Really Big Bugs is a story that is so close to my heart.

Buckle up for this absolutely silly story; I hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it.And if anybody wants to make it… it’s still available!

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